Sunday, March 26, 2006

Not So Much of a BoyScout

Be prepared.

Not only is this the boyscout motto but it is a diabetics' motto as well.

I was unprepared, not once but twice this weekend.

A Trip to Bizarro World

There was an art exhibit at the LA Public Library: "Travel Posters throughout time." CPG and I haven't been able to spend much quality weekend time together lately. So our first Saturday completely together in months was really something to look forward to.

This requires walking from her place to the train station. A good mile walk or so. I carb up a bit with a peanut butter and bannana sandwich hitting around a 200 prior to leaving her place. We walk to the train station and she goes into "adorable" mode as she is the one person I know in LA who gets a thrill out of taking public transportation. I should bring something with me, a gatorade or something.. but I figure if I am high enough getting to the train station. Once we get downtown, food will be plentiful and I am cool.

Getting out of the train station requites taking about 100 feet of stairs straight up then a few block walk uphill to the library building.. same one they blew up in Independence day. At this point I am feeling pretty good... but test...

and I am at 79... not terrible... but I feel droppy.. loopy.. concrete feet.. which means I am tanking out and need something.. a churro would be nice right about now. "Activity" burns sugar.. we're shooting for 100 here... but with the the extra insulin in your body... hitting zero is always a possiblity...

Zero is coma.

Okay let's grab some food... LA SALSA.. big fan... not open..

COFFEE BEAN... Okay one Vanilla Drink should bring me back up.

But I get there and I can't decide on what to have... when you are low blood stops pumping into your brain and therefor it is hard to make ANY decision let alone good ones. And your brain isn't working well enough to REMEMBER that you can't make good desicions. Unable to decide and thinking a big fat piece of choclate mouse truffle is too much. We walk out thinking there will be a cafe in library...

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??? I have been to a lot of libraries in a lot of towns and NOT ONE OF THEM HAS A GODDAMN CAFE IN IT!!! We hunt for it anyway. Well while we are at the base of the LIBRARY building we can't find the library.

We turn back to Coffee Bean.. which closes in the 45 seconds we were gone..

Coffee Bean closes at 3:00 downtown.. Los Angeles's downtown is a failure...

So we hoof it even further for another couple of blocks when I make another bad desicion... They are shooting a movie and the goddamn Kraft services truck is right there. I could just walk up and say "Hey I am diabetic and I am having a problem.. may I have a coke?" Maybe I just don't want to look like a retard in front of CPG.

That easy. But I don't want to tell these people I am A) Diabetic and B) Having a problem I can't control. The shakes are starting.. The sweats are starting and I can't tell these people I need help.. I can Handle it. We walk another block.. each new block is dropping the blood sugar...

We find some Che-Che hotel bar.

Just gimme a Coke.
I need a Coke...
gimme a fuckin Coke.

But the bartender is nowhere to be found...

I'm dropping and the bartender is nowhere to be found. I see someone who looks like a bartender but he is entertaining some Japanese Business who are oblivious to the 200,000 people protesting immigrants rights down the street. They are rich and have no desire to live here. CPG finds a bellhop who gets the bartender on the stick. He gives me a coke... a gulp it one sip. He brings over some nuts (fat sustains the sugar count in your body.. nuts have fat...which I find remarkable funny at the moment)

Okay back up... feeling human.... brain working..Brain working mean no smashy. No smashy good.

I should probably have a meal right about now.. the tourney's on and a burger sounds good. But I am in che-che hotel lobby and not the mood to spend $17.50 on a burger. So we walk two blocks back uphill and go up these steps modeled after the famous ones in Italy and one block east and two blocks back. At this point I decide to be the woman and ask for intstructions... we stop at McCormack and Schmidts and contemplate watching the tourney and have a $6 bowl of corn and clam chowder.... but I need to get my girl to the art exhibit that's what we are here for for chrissakes...

We get instructions, we under the big "W" and go there. I still think I need something before we go into the exhibit and library. I need something to eat.

And everything is mutherfuckin closed. Except the expensive places... and I won't eat there unplanned, unbudgeted.

Shit I burned the Coke and the Nuts, also very funny to me at this point.

Im crashing again. We see signs for an underground mall that have McDonalds... $.69 cheeburgers sounds awesome.

"You know that's stuff is poison" I hear her say.

Fortunately, that fight was muted as the FUCKING MCDONALD'S is closed too!

THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING OPEN THAT DOESN'T COST AND ARM AND A LEG DOWNTOWN ON FUCKING SUNDAY. I yell at the DAILY GRILL and threaten to sue them becaus DAILY means SUNDAY TOO!!! It's in the TITLE!!!

Not even a HOT DOG stand.. NOTHING!!!

I don't want to test. I have two strips left and we have to meet people for dinner later.

Im low, I know I'm low, I don't need to test. I need a fucking burrito.

By the way, when I am low... FUCKING seems to be the most useful word of choice. It's so versital.

She's holding my hand and I am staggering worse than a broke drunk. I can't feel my fingers. I'm lead... i'm feeling drifty...The city looks beautiful. There are protesting people with drums and Columbian flags and a gal with a "Hondouras" belt talking to her friends.

And I see it.

A neon cactus... neon cactus means food. Carb heavy Mexican food.

"CPG.. CACTUS.. GO TO THE CACTUS...."

We have walked another 12 blocks by this time... A cross between New York and San Francisco blocks... steeper than they should be"

The Cactus is open. The Cactus is open...

It's open..

All I can think is "Is this our only option?"

I pause on the street and start looking around... there is a Burger King... and open McDonalds'..cactus place and RITE AID..

They have fun stuff at RITE AID... Do they have burgers at Rite Aid?

Drums.. Drums.. Drums.. I love drums.

Do they have Burgers at Rite Aid?

CPG says "Well what do you need?"

There are two too many options... okay there was one too many options.. too much to think about...

"I can't think...pick something... I want a breakfast burrito"

CPG gets into line... I start rattling everything off of the breakfast menu like Rain Man...

Look they have "Nasa TV" here...

She tells me to sit down and I do.. shaking my head down on to the table... sweating a puddle on to the table....

She arrives with a coke and chicken burrito, because it's 4:00 and they don't have breakfast burritos anymore..

A logic I cannot understand... breakfast burritos should be available anytime... that would be good.

I eat a chicken and rice and beans...

Thank god... ten minutes later I am a human being again.

God I love that girl.

The exhibit was fascinating.. and I haven't been to the downtown library before... it's quite a treasure.

4 Comments:

Blogger Crackpot's Girlfriend said...

I love you too. And you don;t need to worry about looking lie a retard in front of me -- I'm the dork that loves the library and the subway!

3:28 PM  
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6:21 PM  
Blogger Laud Man said...

askinstoo, SPAM is bad for everybody, especially diabetics.

No date on your comments so I'll tell ya it's Nov. 6, 06. Election Eve.

I've been a type 1 diabetic since 1971. I've had blood sugars as low as 21 and as high as 600 plus. My glucometer only goes to 600 then says HI. When I was a kid we tested with Clintitest; A kit with tablets, an eye dropper, and a test tube. You would put ten drops of water in the tube two drops of urine (use the eye dropper and a dixie cup) and drop in a tablet. The tablet would fizzle and the water and urine could turn from a bright blue to a bright orange. Bright orange meant you were "spilling" sugar, blue meant you were spilling none,green meant you were OK.

Back then the syringes were glass and just the needles were disposable. We had only two types of insulin too, U 40 Regular or NPH. No U 100.

You missed out on all the fun I'm sorry to say but welcome to the world of acetone breath, double vision, shaky hands and occasional confusion.

Seriously though, it's good to know somebody in the same boat. It must be harder to deal with as an adult.

I still drink ocassionally and sometimes like a fish, but I never did smoke.

I avoid carbs as much as I can. I use to find out what has the most carbs. I carry a bag of Skittles w/me everywhere like it's a wallet or my keys like a good boyscout should.

10:25 PM  
Blogger david santos said...

Today it is the World-wide day of the child

2:23 PM  

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